Why Three is Better than One: What Every Mom Can Learn From Sex and the City

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Remember the dating scene? {uuuggggggg} If you’re a single mama, you may even be right back in it. When I was dating, someone let me in on the rule of 3s. Say what? Well, it’s pretty simple: Before you decide that one person is a good match for you, surround yourself with 3 eligible prospects. Why? Once you are hooked on the idea of someone, it’s easy to try and morph them into the “perfect one”. And let’s face it – when you have an idea of the perfect somebody floating around in your fantasy brain, it’s easy to find yourself attached to them and to think that this is “the one”. When you fall into this trap, it becomes very easy to lose yourself and often this spirals into an unhealthy relationship because true compatibility is lacking.

Same goes for mom dating, i.e., trying to meet moms, except that unlike real dating, you can actually keep a few mom friends around long-term and never have to commit to one vs. the other. Brilliant…Helloooo, mama playa. I mean, seriously, how boring would Sex and the City be if you didn’t have Carrie’s shoe and fashion obsession, Miranda’s voice of reason, Charlotte’s innocence and optimism or Samantha’s unfiltered and inappropriate outbursts? The show and the movie takes you through the lives of three pretty damn realistic women and makes you love each one of them for who they are individually and for who they are as a pack.

The takeaway? When you go out searching for your wing mama, don’t stop at one. Here are a few good reasons why having 3 local moms on your side is better…

1. You learn to appreciate each friend for who they are.

 

 

The grass can sometimes seem greener when you’re hanging with a mom who doesn’t have “it all” when it comes to compatibility. There is a solid chance her kids and your kids won’t match. Or maybe her parenting style differs from yours, or she’s a baker and you’re an athlete. Just because a few things are off, doesn’t mean she is not a good match for you. It just might mean that you will want to fill whatever void exists by connecting with another mom who shares those particular commonalities.

2. You don’t get overly attached.

 

 

Don’t worry, your mama soulmate is probably out there somewhere. And let’s face it – we all dream of the perfect wing mama. You know, the one who you get lost in conversation and laughter with. The one who has kids who are best buds with your kids. The one who’s partner gets along brilliantly with yours. While those moms are certainly out there, they will likely take a while to pin down. In the meantime, surround yourself with a few moms who together make up the perfect soulmate.

3. You gain perspective.

 

 

Especially for moms who are new to the mom game, it’s tough to know what we really want in a mom friend. When you hang out with just one local mom, you will be exposed to only her personality, parenting style, hobbies, etc. Try and add a few mom friends to the mix to broaden and balance your perspective.

4. You are less likely to lose yourself.

 

 

Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you need to give up your personality, your passions, and generally what gets you excited in life. Like dating, if you end up with someone who doesn’t bring out the best in you, you may surrender yourself and change. Don’t (well, don’t change who you are – you can change some of your ways, of course). Write a list of what is important to you in life and see if you can find a few mama friends who support this. These moms should love you for you.

5. You won’t get bored.

 


Let’s face it, we’re all super busy. The chances of being able to hang out with the same local mom friend multiple times per week/month is much lower than if you rotate your time between multiple mom friends. When you hang out with different types of moms, you’re very likely to do different things vs. the same old, same old. And why not bring all your mom friends together for a fun group playdate, mom workout or much needed moms night out?

What do you think? Is three better than one? Don’t have any mom friends? Head on over to Mom Meet Mom, where moms meet local mom friends! www.mommeetmom.com

 

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