Moving is the worst, and that’s without kids in the mix. Once you’re a mom, moving house takes on a whole new dimension. You’re not just moving your stuff, you’re moving a life. And then it’s not just your life, it’s the lives of your children who may be old enough to have regular playdate pals they’ll miss or even best friends forever.
Your life is in chaos. You miss your mom friends. Your little ones are bored and underfoot. And you’re wondering how you’ll ever make it out of the house, much less make mom friends in your new town.
It sounds like some kind of yogurt commercial cliche, but it’s serious. Moving can mean starting over from square one socially for you and for your kids. It gets harder when your babies aren’t babies anymore so mommy groups are out of the question, and as lonely as you’re feeling you know your children are feeling even lonelier.
Here are six tips for making mom friends in a new town – even though you’re stressed to the max, your house is a mess, and you kind of feel like nothing will ever be the same again:
1. Hit up a class – with or without your kiddos. It could be anything from pottery to aerobics to accounting 101. The idea here is you’ll meet local moms and possibly also cool local grownups without kids without having to introduce yourself out of the blue. It’s easier to make friends when you’re new in town when you everyone is new to the room.
2. Suck it up and introduce yourself at the park. This is my least favorite option because I’m about as shy as you can get. Like I talk myself out of saying hello. Yes, this method of meeting moms will result in more than a few instances of rejection but you may end up meeting your new best friend or at least a few playdate pals for your children.
3. Expand your definition of friends. When you don’t know another soul it doesn’t pay to be picky. While you don’t have to go for coffee with the mom who was smoking around her kids at the park if cigarettes are on your no-no list, why not strike up a convo? She may have insight about where the cool, non-smoking moms hang out.
4. Download a mom app. If elderly divorcees are meeting and marrying thanks to Match.com and the young adult crowd is hooking up via Tinder, there’s no reason not to make friends with an app.
5. Stay for the playdates. Your kids starting a a new school may actually give your social life a jump start – they meet new kids and you meet their moms. When you’re planning playdates for kids, choose activities and locations that encourage moms sticking around instead of just dropping kids off.
6. Let rejection roll off your back. No one said making friends was easy. Now you can appreciate what your kids are going through (and why they didn’t want to leave their old hometown). But making mom friends doesn’t have to be so stressful, either. Accept that you won’t get along with everyone and keep looking for the local moms you love.
I promise, you’ll meet them eventually!