We moms sure are busy! We’re busy with the house. Busy with the kids. If we’re lucky, we’re also busy with our own self-actualization and careers. Somewhere in all that busyness there may also be a partner looking for sex, adoration, and companionship. We moms have things we want to accomplish – now, later today, this week, and as part of five-year-plans. Our to-do lists? Are packed to the max.
Sometimes they look like this:
-Schedule rabies shot appt.
And sometimes they look like this:
-Clear email inbox
-Conference call with major client
-4 p.m. budget meeting
-Dry cleaning p/u
And sometimes they even (mentally, anyway) look like this:
-Stop kids from killing each other
-Time out for hitting
-Feed kids, again
-Lather, rinse, repeat
Your to-do list – the one on paper and the one in your head – probably looks like some amalgamation of these three lists. But chances are that no matter what you need, want, and hope to do, you are more than just a little busy. You may actually be a lot busy between kids and work (if you have a job) and everything else you’re juggling in your role as a modern mother. Chances are also pretty good that you sometimes feel utterly exhausted and just plain overwhelmed by everything on your plate.
And that’s why I want to propose a change. For a week or a month, in addition to your to-do list have a no-do list. To draft this particular list you’re going to need to sit down, maybe with a glass of wine or a nice cup of coffee, and think about all the things you do that you would rather not do. Some of these things may be non-negotiable, like feeding the kids and nearly everything on your professional to-do list, and so I can’t help you there. But some, like spending yet another evening mixing up cookie batter for the PTA after the kids go to bed, are entirely optional.
If that’s a to-do item you’d like to scratch off your to-do list, make picking up bakery cookies part of your grocery trip. Better yet, put ‘volunteering for every other PTA function’ on your no-do list. Other common no-do list items might include ‘signing up for the annual conference’, ‘mommy & me’ classes, and ‘making the beds every morning’. What you put on your no-do list really up to you. But once you’ve cleared your schedule of the non-essentials that used to seem so essential, you should find you have more time to beef up your to-do list with more items like these:
-morning cuddle time
-Friday movie night
-Read a good book
-Nap with the baby
Doesn’t that sound nice? I swear, it’s not just a pipe dream. The no-do list could change your life!