Recently I had the most perfect Mama’s night out even though it ended in blood and broken glass.
Let me explain.
Australia has this program where they put new mother’s together for a six week class on babies and parenting-‘Mother’s Group.’ As an American expat-this service was invaluable because it handed me a potential support network.
There were six of us, three transplants and three Aussies. From what I hear my group is smaller than most and more down-to-earth than many. I struck gold with these women. We vent without judgement and cheerlead one another through sleepless nights, boo-boos, and boredom. We have been meeting weekly now for almost two years.
When our babies all turned one-year-old I suggested a child-free dinner to celebrate. Without the kids to distract us we still had plenty to talk about and the night flew faster than you can say Chardonnay. Two of the ladies were already pregnant with their second’s so we acted civilly that particular evening.
We waited to do it again until the brave, second-time-rounders could comfortably break away from their newborns.
Two of us arrived at the restaurant early and ordered a bottle of wine. Before the end of the first glass, we were buzzed (parents of small children have no tolerance for booze).
As the others came more bottles were ordered. We gabbed so much that we forgot about food. While waiting for our meals we proceeded to drink the entire house supply of Chardonnay and then some. We laughed a lot. And really loudly, apparently.
One of the waitstaff came over and told us that another table complained about our ‘volume.’ I burst out laughing and started snapping my fingers in the air; “Still got it! Ladies we still got it!” My Chardonnay-pants had me feelin like a badass (obviously now I know I was just being immature) but I was pleased that even as a Mom I could still cause a stir.
We managed to behave until the restaurant closed and we were reluctantly put out on the street before 11PM on a Friday. No one wanted to go home and the only place still open was a brightly lit pub with pokies (video gambling). Classy. The bouncer followed us inside and told the bartender not to serve us. Clearly the patrons deserved protection from us that night.
“But we’re a Mums Group!”
He didn’t care. We were over-served (with white wine and wood-fired pizza). It reminded me of the time on Spring Break 2001 when my friends and I got escorted out of a club in Ft. Lauderdale. Back then my girlfriend refused to leave the VIP area and this time we were in danger of riling up a few old guys betting on greyhounds. This Mama’s night out was becoming hilarious and I didn’t want it to end.
We taxied to my house stumbling in as quietly as drunken Gorilla’s. I proceeded to make cups of tea, pour shots of whisky and open a bottle of red wine (seemed sensible). We sampled these beverages outside on the deck and (supposedly) out of earshot of my family (oh the poor neighbours)!
In loud voices we talked about how we should go out dancing but that fantasy came to a crashing halt. One of the girls attempted to step over the table on her way back from the bathroom and managed to smash every single glass, cup, mug and bottle and cut her lip on a shard. I ran for the paper towels while someone else called a cab.
When the girls were leaving my house I said, we either need to do this way less often, or way more because it’s a year’s worth of drunken incidents rolled up into one night.
The girls were kicked out of the cab within five minutes after one of them spewed in the back. Add that to being chastised in the restaurant, denied service at the pub and the trifecta of trouble was complete.
I crawled into bed sheepishly and not only was my husband not asleep he was not even mad (just awake debating if he should come out and administer first aid). To top it off our daughter slept through the whole entire thing. #winning
Being with those women made me feel young, awesome, and alive again. I haven’t known them long but I know them well. We are making memories-ones that involve us being suburban delinquents, not just somebody’s mother.
I live thousands of miles away from my family and it takes me 24 hours to travel to my best friend’s couch. For the past few years I’ve watched longingly as my husband swaps stories of his Uni days with mates. For someone still quite new to this country, being made to feel at home means the absolute world to me. The best night out for this Mama is one that becomes a good story, a new history with new friends.
In the morning as I hosed broken glass, red wine, and blood off my deck (with a massive headache) I whispered to myself, “Still got it, stiiiiiiiiill got it.”
Note: Dawn from Kangaroo Spotting is one of our Hello Mamas Influencers! Hello Mamas is a app for local moms and mums to find mom friends! If you’re interested in learning more about our Influencer program and its benefits, contact us!