Pregnant and Lonely: The Why and the What to Do About It

Pregnant and lonely? Join Hello Mamas today!

Pregnancy is supposed to be this wonderful period when a woman grows gradually into motherhood, surrounded by similarly pregnant friends and wise old relatives who have been there, done that. For the luckiest pregnant women, that camaraderie is exactly what pregnancy – not to mention birth and parenting – is all about. For the rest of us, pregnancy and everything that follows can actually be kind of lonely.

If you’re pregnant and lonely, you should know that loneliness during pregnancy is actually not unusual. The first woman in a group of friends to procreate may find herself not only unable to share what she’s going through with her besties, but also an object suddenly worthy of study. A soon-to-be mama with mostly guy friends can feel this even more acutely. And even if a woman has pregnant friends, her pregnancy may be so different from theirs that she feels effectively isolated. After all, even a normal nine months can be stressful! It can be really hard to meet moms (to be) who are facing the same issues.

During pregnancy, you feel a sort of separateness already because your body is changing in ways that even the people closest to you can’t fully understand. If you’ve chosen to keep your pregnancy under wraps until some specific point in time, that can add to feelings of loneliness. And when your pregnancy is particularly rough physically or emotionally, feelings of loneliness may even be related to friends growing more distant. Plus, even the most supportive spouses and partners can have trouble empathizing with all of the things a pregnant woman will go through in the months before birth.

So how can you combat loneliness during pregnancy? The first step is to find a community of people who will understand, insofar as they can, what you’re going through as you gestate that baby. That means you need to meet moms! You might have to build up your own community from scratch, and that might be easier online that offline if don’t have any pregnancy support groups in your area. The second step is to be honest about how you’re feeling – especially with your spouse or partner and your family. They may not even realize that you’re feeling lonely, and telling them gives them a chance to step up and help. The third step is to watch for signs of depression – while not everyone who is lonely is depressed, loneliness can be a sign of depression in pregnancy.

So, are you ready to meet other pregnant moms so you can build your own community of support? Then you’re ready for Hello Mamas! Join now for free and meet other moms and pregnant moms nearby!

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Comments

comments

78 Responses

  1. Yes I do feel lonely because my spouse travels and he calls with chances,he always have different excuses of not being able to call,even though I make it easy for us to sometimes communicate he disown me the effort I put in this relationship,could he be bored or cheating?

  2. Yes, i feel.extremely lonely I cry a lot…I wish i was dead..too many crazy thought, that I fight try think of my daughter the going need me. My partener don’t care he thimk am .needy…i told him it’s the pregnancy

    • Silvia, if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to email me at christa @ mommeetmom.com – I would love to connect. It’s normal to feel low and lonely but to wish you were dead is a sign you need to talk to someone ASAP! Please, please email me!

      • I feel alone too I have a boyfriend but he doesn’t seem to understand how important it is to spend time with me cuddle and talk I feel single….. I cry a lot too

    • Hi Silvia, Same for me, my bf just broke up with me I’m 7 months pregnant and I feel extremely lonely, my family is far away, I cry a lot because I can’t get over my ex and I feel guilty and sorry for not been able to give my baby a healthy pregnancy and a good dad( my ex told me to leave he is not going to be able to take care of a baby). I understand you, this situation is really hard and even worst if you don’t have people to support you. I’m thinking to join some church or community so I can make some friends and keep going with my life. My baby is the only reason that keeps me alive. I recommend the same thing for you. Good luck.

    • i just wanted to let you know you are not alone with your feelings. I am feeling exactly the same. I have a little girl that’s 2 and she is what keeps me going. I am really excited about my new baby coming I just feel very lonely and unloved. I really don’t think id be missed if I wasn’t here.

      I hope you feel better soon and if you need to talk then just email me. lauraelizabethdowning@yahoo.co.uk

      • I have two kids. My last pregnancy in july ended in miscarriage at 16wks. Im still struggling with depression from that and im now 7wa along and feel bad bc I can be happy. My boyfriend isnt happy in our relationship. I know its all me he isnt happy with. I break my backto care for us all and its never good enough. I dont get any love and affection from him. I feel alone and he is here everyday. Tonight he said he is not happy and i could see caring for two kids alone but I feel horrible knowing im bringing an innocent child into something like this. Its all my fault and maybe I shouldnt have wanted another. Noone will want and care for a girl with three kids. I cant be 100% for them when im depressed. I thought about couseling for my depression but not sure how that will help. I wish things could turn around for all of us but I feel like the worst an ugliest person ever right now.

  3. Silvia,

    Those are some really dark feelings you are having. Having a baby no matter how ready and wanted it is becomes a crisis for any family… Everything changes and life is never the same; It can be such a wonderful and joyous occasion. If you have feelings such as you described above you should seek some advice from a medical professional. They will be able to help you sort out those feelings and you can make sure you are in the best frame of mind possible to raise your new bundle of joy. Please don’t ignore your feelings, seek some advice and take good care of yourself.

  4. Beth Frankos

    I Just Entered My Second Trimester And I Am Feeling Extremely Lonely And Down, Particularly Today. I Am Not Sure How Much Of My Feelings Are Due To Hormones And How Much Of Them Are Due To My Less-Than-Ideal Situation. Ugh. I Don’t Know How To Come Out Of This, I Figure Maybe It Just Needs To Run Its Course.

  5. I too feel lonely, and wish.i were dead sometimes, and my husband isnt suportive. He says im crazy and when i hear him say that i feel like i cant talk to him like i would like to. Like to tell him wat i feel or wat i need, such as a hug or his shoulder to cru, just his support. :(….

    • I feel the same way. I cry alot and i cant talk to my husband because he wouldnt understand he will think im thinking too much but….i feel loneliness he didnt give me attention and i just dont feel that he even happy or really want the baby… i dont know if it were because the hormone or what but I dont want to feel this sad and lonely i cant talk my feeling out.

  6. I have supportive family, but, my soon to be husband makes it hard for me to feel as excited as I really am. We’re both young, and this was a surprise pregnancy. Anything I am excited for or smiling about my pregnancy kinda gets shut down by his lack of attention he has towards it…makes me feel like he wants nothing to do with it. It could be me overreacting, but by my feelings being shut down and him not being equally excited makes me depressed. On top of that I have no true girl friend to go to, so its hard to stay excited. It sucks, so depressing. I don’t know how to feel up.

    • I’m pregnant with my second child but this is my 3rd pregnancy. I’m not really sure how my boyfriend feels and I too don’t really have any friends to go too. I feel like we have a lot in common. My family is supportive (my mom and
      boyfriend r the only ones
      who know). But I’m feeling really sad and not sure what to do my boyfriend is not affectionate anyways and shows no interest. He also says I act this way because the world says u are supposed to. We have a 6 year old son and he’s a good dad. We are not married and I have pretty much given up hope with that :(. I want this baby but I’m not sure at all what our future holds, especially not with expecting a child. Anyone out there willing to lend an ear I’ll be happy to lend one back n be forever grateful

    • hi Destiny
      i just wanted to see if things got better for you? im 30 weeks on Monday and my partner still isn’t interested in the baby we don’t talk about anything he lives here sleeps and works at night. he hasn’t told him family or friends about me or the baby.

  7. We already have lots of issues getting along and he says I’m childish and insecure…. I was happy about being pregnant and know it’s pretty normal to feel happy or sad for no reason but I have a hard time with seeing the good in anything and I suppose I do need extra attention. Just don’t get it. My boyfriend stays glued to his Xbox and TV. My first doctors appointment is in the morning. He just told me he’s not going because

  8. We already have lots of issues getting along and he says I’m childish and insecure…. I was happy about being pregnant and know it’s pretty normal to feel happy or sad for no reason but I have a hard time with seeing the good in anything and I suppose I do need extra attention. Just don’t get it. My boyfriend stays glued to his Xbox and TV. My first doctors appointment is in the morning. He just told me he’s not going because I was bothering him and he became annoyed. My parents r awesome and always there but I don’t want to stress them out they do so much already and worry about us I just feel like an outside opinion would do my crazy head some good :( I’m really nervous about this doctor appointment

    • I have the same feelings of sadness. My boyfriend and I have only been dating 6 months before I found out about my unexpected pregnancy. Since I became pregnant he does not understand or care to understand my feelings. He tells me what I feel is not normal which makes me feel worse. He makes me hate myself and it seems I’m just trapped in this crappy life and nothing will make me happy.

  9. I’m 24 years old and 5 weeks pregnant with my third baby. Falling pregnant was a total suprise I’ve only been with my partner for 7 weeks. I feel wrong sometimes when I’m talking about the baby with him like I can’t be happy about it. I feel so alone with everything, I don’t no what to do.

  10. I am feeling the exact same way as a lot of you ladies. I’m 12 weeks pregnant and just feeling so lonely. I thought it was a hormonal issue because I too questioned my existence to the point of thinking about death but realize that I do have someone else depending on me now. I tried to talk to my partner about this but I felt even more upset because I felt like he wasn’t being supportive or understanding. Also feeling the same way about my family. My only joy is knowing that at the end of it all I am going to have a baby who is going to love me unconditionally.

  11. I feel alone and am starting to hate my life, I feel pointless and have started to resent my pregnancy when I should be excited and happy. My boyfriend can’t even talk to me ever and when I try talking to him about my feelings or the baby he either ignores me or gets upset. He’s never mad at his friends, hangs out at the bar, ignores me, started smoking pot again, drinks to the point he doesn’t even raise his head by the time I’m off work and home. He has improved on the drinking but smoking pot and never wanting to talk about anything especially the baby hurts me. I spend my days crying or angry or trying to preoccupy myself with work. I don’t know what to do anymore

    • Hey Kala, I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I feel so alone and empty. My boyfriend doesn’t pay no mind to me or the baby on the way . It’s like we don’t exist.

    • I definitely agree that not having your partner to talk to about goals and future plans is heartbreaking. My man refused to answer simple questions and would quickly loose his temper at my provocations. This makes you think he wants nothing for the future, mix this with lack of physical attention and it basically makes you feel absolutely single in such a time of need.

      I was diagnosed with an STD early on in my pregnancy which stopped any physical relations between us. Now we are no longer together and I am so lonely constantly craving hugs and cuddles :( there is just no one right now that could give the physical support that he is capable of – but just because he can doesn’t mean he will. I feel like for the sake of my daughter I just have to suck up the emotional crushing of my heart and carry forward. Helps having my kitten around – although he doesn’t have any balls he is the only male attention I have now :’) A little positivity goes a long way.

      • Also being 29 weeks pregnant he told me to go find myself the Romeo that I am seeking. Even if I wanted to, right now no one will want to get to know and grow close to a woman who is carrying another man’s seed. It is heartbreaking :$

        • This is exactly how I’m feeling. All I need is a hug or an I love you. My boyfriend can talk on the phone to his friends or go out and have fun, but when it comes to me all he does is sleep. I feel so alone. And on top of that my sister just had twins so my pregnancy isn’t important to anyone.

  12. 15 weeks pregnant by the way go baby but still alone. 5 more months and then I won’t be alone ever again

  13. He left me the time I told him I was pregnant. I am trying to be strong and praying that one day I will get over him a nd raise my doughter properly. I hope I don’t take out my enger on my baby. I feel so alone. My mother is there but its not the same. I have been feelling guilty that mybe I wasn’t a good partner none of what is happening is my fault. Take care of yourself ladies things will fall into place.

    • I am 9 weeks pregnant. I was dating what seemed like a really good and whole-hearted honest man for 2 months when I got pregnant. When I told him he accused me of doing this on purpose and asked why am I doing this to him. He told me directly he will “walk away” if I decide to have this baby. Then he said he would be 100% supportive if I have an abortion and we will be together afterwards. I know he is lying and will say anything for me to abort this baby so it doesn’t ruin his master plan, as he says he is “done with kids.” I feel very alone. I have close family and friend support, but I really lack that protective natural factor of a supportive male partner. I feel sad when I know my child will be without a father.

  14. M also all alone…mi inlaws are not supportive…..whole dayvi have to live alone…..mi husband doesn’t bother about mi pregnancy….no one is taking care of me…I want to go somewhere.

  15. I have really struggled with my pregnancy. The day I found out I was pregnant my fiancé reacted badly and didn’t want me to keep it or be with me. I wasn’t happy in the relationship but as soon as I found out I was pregnant I felt I needed to be with him and that I could forgive all the wrong he has done. I am now 36 weeks and he does not want to be with me or baby. I am normally very independent but now all I can think about is finding a man to be a father to my boy. I feel so lonely and scared.

    • I’m so sorry my dear, I’m 31 weeks pregnant I remember the day I told my fiancé about being pregnant he looked so stressed. So the way he looked like it did get a picture that I’m going to go through this alone. He’s a dervoced man with 3 children & still staying the same roof with ex, he doesn’t sleep @ my house if it happens for him to sleep over he will stand up @ 2h in the morning, if I ask why he will tell me that his respecting his kids. I’m telling you is so hard my back is sore no one to rub me sometime I will be dizzy & just pray to God to help me not to fall. It hurts but my dear hang in there.

  16. I too feel depressed & lonely.

    My partner doesnt understand at all. He thinks Im dramatic & selfish. When ever Im sad & upset he tells me to get over it & that he’s not a mind reader so doesnt know what I want to do. Every Fridays after work he drinks with his friends & I just feel so lonely like he doesnt want to spend time with me. We have an 8 year old as well & I just feel like he doesnt want to spend his Friday nights with us. I cant stop crying & feel so helpless like I just want to give it all up. Its so hard as I try & be strong for my son & unborn child…

  17. pissed off lonely preggo

    Thats bs to say its not normal. Pregnant or not if you break up its a natural reaction. You were two. Now your…one…n a half lol. Anyways thats b.s. I am coldly alone. I yearn for baby daddy to hold me n baby me. Hes selfish n immature and cant give to my needs so i feel i cheated myself by picking ANOTHER emotionally retarded man. But i made the mustake i got

  18. I feel extremely lonely, I have crying spells all the time, and often panic attacks. I’m very vulnerable right now because I have had to come off my psychiatric meds, and can only see my therapist a couple times a month. I’ve tried repeatedly to reach out to my family and friends, but no one ever seems to have time even just to shoot me a text to ask how me and my baby are doing. Even yesterday, I was having some issues with my pregnancy and told my bf that I was worried and might go to triage if I didn’t see improvement, but he left to go hang out with his friends for 5 hours and never even noticed the text I had sent him while he was out until he got home and immediately crashed. I’m a first-time, unplanned mom and completely overwhelmed. I don’t know how else to ask for help anymore.

  19. I am 14 weeks pregnant and feel like my friends have to busy lifes to fit me in. This is baby number 3 i have to older boys one whos severly autistic he doesnt understand i am pregnant and at times he can be very challenging would love to meet someone thats got a child with autism and went on to have more but just dont know anyone. I feel quite lonely at times but put it down to being pregnant.

  20. It’s hard but let us hang in the God knows why we ended up like this. I’m just happy that I’ve got a precious thing in my tummy he keeps me going.

  21. I just found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago, and this will be my first baby. I’m 6weeks but will be 7weeks pregnant tomorrow. However I absolutely hate it. My bf sucks, he really isn’t there like he should be for me. I feel lonely, depressed and angry. This was a surprise pregnancy and he didn’t even want the baby. And honestly I’m feeling like I don’t want it either but I just can’t let go of something that was giving to me. I’m just really confused and don’t know what to do. I really hate my bf right now and I really don’t even want to talk to him anymore until he starts being more like a man I thought he was and own up to his responsibilities and want to make the best out of it.

    • Ashley
      i just wanted to see if things got better for you? im 30 weeks on Monday and my partner still isn’t interested in the baby we don’t talk about anything he lives here sleeps and works at night. he hasn’t told him family or friends about me or the baby.

  22. hello, i think most moms to be are going through similar emotional turmoil. hormonal changes make us much more vulnerable than ever before and the biggest problem is that we have changed but the partner hasnt. so difference in priorities will only land us feeling neglected and misunderstood.
    i am going through a similar crisis and it would be great to share my feelings with someone. this is my second pregnancy and im due in a month. im much more involved in my pregnancy and my husband is preoccupied in his career, social networking and male friends. it really hurts but he never seems to have time or attention, no matter how hard he tries. seriously, i dont want this forever waanting time but never getting it equation anymore

  23. Im 13 weeks with my first child. My bf told me to get an abortion. At first I was ok with it. But in my heart I couldn’t kill my first baby. And I love my unborn child very much. I dump him because he only cared about himself and his money. I never cared for material things like that so it was easy for me to leave. And I have a large supportive family that loves me and my unborn. So to you women, who are in a similar situation, the stress isnt worth it. Stress not only harms you, it harms you’re baby too. Depression is worse and can lead to miscarriage. Contact friends, or a close relative you can talk to. Have a girls day out. Go talk to you’re church pastor/elder/priest for spirital guidance. Anything to lift you up and out of loneliness. I went out with my friend all day, helped cook lunch, and went to the park walking her little dogs while talking. Not only was it nice to interact with my friend, I needed the fresh air and change of scenery. Do things that make you happy and remove things that make you feel sad and lonely. And if you’re single, dont worry about that. There are plenty of men who arnt able to have or dont mind that you have child(ren) that would most definitely love you and you’re child. Take care, and be blessed

  24. I feel so alone too. I’m 32 yrs old and 9 weeks tomorrow with my first baby. I am excited and grateful and I know this baby is going to change my entire life for the better. I just wish so much that my (ex)boyfriend was more supportive. We were broken up for about a month when I found out i was pregnant. But before I even told him i was pregnant he had told me that he didn’t want anyone else, that I’m all he’s ever wanted .. but we just can’t seem to work it out. Later that day i told him i was pregnant and he was gentle and supportive right away, telling me that he would support me, and later telling me that he was excited. We spent some time together at his place over the next few weeks, but the passion and affection that I wanted wasn’t there. It wasn’t that big of a deal at that time, but over the last few weeks I feel like he’s getting more and more distant. i haven’t seen him in almost 2 weeks .. i told him numerous times that i wish we saw each other more, that i’m carrying his baby and feel much better when i’m around him. he keeps telling me he needs time to figure things out .. when i ask him what he just says his life was going in a different direction before.. i told him if he doesn’t want to be with me to just tell me and he can still be a good dad and we can figure out how to make it work … he tells me he does want to be with me but he just needs time. I’m so confused bc he seemed more supportive and open when i first told him then he does now. I told him tonight (over text .. that’s how we mostly communicate… we don’t even TALK on the phone that often … its so annoying) but I told him tonight that i hope he comes around soon because i need him. He said “i will. I told you that” but how the f#%* am I supposed to believe and trust that when he doesn’t even check in to see how I’m feeling or how things are going. He’s 36 and I’m 32 so we’re grown adults. He’s been busy looking to buy a house, but it blows my mind how he thinks we can just move into a house together and be a happy lil family when he is not here for me now! we lived together for 4 months and he kicked me out which is why we broke up before i found out i was pregnant. I feel like i’m going thru this alone but everytime i tell him that he says “i’m here for you” but does nothing to be there for me except stupid f#%$ing text messages. And he keeps saying he needs time .. how much time???!!!!! i’m so scared that i’m going to resent him for all of this or that i’ll be unhappy with him when and if he ever does come around. So sad and tired of feeling alone…. I feel for all you ladies and i send you my love. We are strong beautiful women, but we do need (and DESERVE) love and support. I hope we help each other find it!!! Much Love <3

  25. Am 28weeks, have a 3 yr old daughter. feel extremely lonely,my husband doesn’t care about me. he will sleep while I cry all through the night. my daughter and my baby are my hope. but at times I feel like dying. my parents stay far off. my husband doesn’t allow me relate to anybody especially my parental family.

  26. Leah Ussery

    I thought I was the only one… The thing that sucks the most is that I’m 19 and pregnant. My family is supportive and so is my boyfriend and his but he lives 3 hours away and now is when I need him the most. We try and talk over the phone and Skype but it’s not enough. There’s no one here that understands how alone I feel. I cry a lot and just wish things would be different.

  27. I am almost thirteen weeks and this entire pregnancy so far I have been on the back burner. My fiance’s life has always mostly revolved around his son from a previous marriage and I was ok with that but he won’t even go to appts with me on his days off. He would rather instead go spend the day with his mommy and his son if he has him. I have yet to be able to talk to him about the pregnancy because it is just in one ear and out the other and on to whatever he wants to talk about. I try and tell him how I am feeling and he tells me that I am not his only priority and that it is hard enough finding time for his son in between work schedule and that any spare time he has will be spent with his family… Am I not family? I thought this was supposed to be the most exciting and happy thing in my life but instead I am crying everyday and thinking terrible thoughts…

  28. im 30yrs old n i feel lonely when im of frm wrk i just sit at home watch tv and sleep im 16 weeks pregnant my byfrnd when he sees me al he wants is sex i just want support n hug n pampering n to tel me hw much he loves me

  29. What the hell is wrong with all these “men?” I am so angry reading through these posts! This is the most challenging thing any woman can go through first time or not the father should be falling over you making sure your ok not neglecting your needs and being selfish. I had to come off Effexor and up until a couple of weeks ago I was having a horrible time working two jobs, going through the withdrawals and constantly crying but I’m through the worst of it now and so glad I did it. My partner was stressed at first about the pregnancy as was I, but he just said he needed to cop on and stop feeling sorry for himself which is exactly what he did. Everything you are feeling is normal your body and mind are going through huge upheaval you are not being a drama queen or a baby or unreasonable to want your guy to show you some damn respect. If he has left you then good riddance and if he’s putting you down or being neglectful then you need to be strong and tell him that you won’t accept being treated like that and if he doesn’t get his act together then he knows where the door is you or your baby don’t need that crap and stress in your life give him the cold shoulder and he’ll soon open his eyes. Be strong and brave and stand up for yourself and your baby. And love yourself more than you love him xxxxxx

  30. Also to anyone who feels that they wouldn’t be missed if they were gone or that they’re better off dead please get help from your doctor or midwife or anybody who can help you. Many people experience depression during pregnancy (including myself) but it will get better if you reach out and get help. Your hormones are going crazy you can be happy and excited one minute then lonely, depressed, guilty, or feeling any kind of strong negative emotions the next minute most of this is normal!!! But if you feel that your mood is impacting your life severely in a negative way just talk to someone ask your doctor or anyone who can help. your well being is the most important thing right now and you deserve to feel happy and healthy don’t worry about work or what others will think etc just do what you need to do to get better xxx

  31. brandie

    I feel the same way I am almost 8 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I feel so lonely and empty, I lost a lot of weight and have kept it off for a while but now I am starting to gain a lot already even though I am trying to stay eating healthy. My boyfriend doesn’t understand and is pretty selfish, I don’t have anyone to talk to and when I try to talk to my boyfriend he doesn’t want to hear it, I wish I knew what to do.

  32. anonymous

    I had just finished my college last year and shifted to this village in west of Africa where you have access to anything only after a three hour drive on the worst kind of road or rather puddles n potholes. And now being in my second trimester things just got worse as I have no work here and my husband is on a business trip in another far off village. My birthday is next week, I have no family or friends or anyone around. I feel pathetic living like this. I can’t sleep either. All I do is cry myself to mornings. I’m fed up.

  33. I am 29 weeks pregnant. I feel so alone..want scream..cry ..sometimes can’t decide what I want to do? I am in australia and my husband in india. He have problem with his visa and can’t come back till he will not get another visa. I am alone from the first day of my pregnancy. I was staying with my frnds but they moved to other place last month. I don’t know wht to do?

  34. Hi, im one month pregnant and have no elder , relatives or family member to share my feeling and prolems im facing in early stage of pregnancy. I feel very lonely and always feel like crying. I don’t understand what to do.

  35. I too am feeling super lonely recently. I am 20 years old and on my 16th week of pregnancy. My boyfriend works far out of town 3 weeks out of each month because there are way better money opportunities up there. He works 14 hour days to be able to support me and the baby. I am going through so many emotions and am feeling very vulnerable, but I feel like I don’t want be a burden by venting to him. I also feel that when I do vent to him, he doesn’t understand and thinks I am just being stupid. I dont have very many friends and am just feeling alone in my pregnancy. I spend a lot of my days crying and worrying about what the future will hold. I am hoping that when he gets home these feelings will go away.

  36. M 16weeks feeling very lonely,my m seeing this guy who’s always busy,wen we together he just want sex that’s all,we don’t talk m nt working currently,my family ar too judgemental,is very hard for me,i broke up with him today m so tired of his actions,he’s very stingy also i so much hate him,bt so much in love with this coming baby since is my first baby.recently is a sleepless nyt

  37. hi im a first time mom. im on may 8th month now and lately i feel so lonely about everything. my parents and my bf’s family is very supportive , i live with my bf now that im pregnant because everyone in our house has to go to work and my mom wont allow me to stay at home alone so she ask me to stay here for a while. im going along just fine here at my bf’s house but i miss my old life as a student and i miss my nephews and my parents. this baby was a surprised baby i didnt know she was coming so i had to stop studying. i miss my friends although we talk through our fb accounts i miss those precious days with them. i often see my parents but i still miss them terribly. another thing that makes me sad is when my bf and i would have a fight i feel like no ones there to support me , he seems to be burdened because of us. what should i do to stop this loneliness i worry so much for my baby girls health inside my tummy. please help. :(

  38. I wish I could be there to share love and affection for everyone. It’s exactly what I need right now, and I know how you feel. I’m 30 weeks now, but my husband kick me and our 3 year old out two months ago. I have no job and this pregnancy has been too hard to work through. He has abandoned us for some woman even more pregnant than I am, so on top of fighting my own depression, my beautiful son tells me every night before bed “mom, I lost my dad” :( homeless and lost I don’t know what to do. I’ve been staying at my grandmothers but she has such a skewed perception of reality ..
    I have anxiety attacks just walking up to the door as I never know what mood she will be in.:( I’m so tired of feeling worthless and abandoned. Sometimes I desperately want to hurt myself or disappear. My doctor tells me to go to the ER if I want to hurt myself but that’s a joke in such a big city. Who would take me seriously? I have to remember to trust in GOD to see me through,but I pray that I wont get too far into that pit of depression before I remember to give my troubles up. KEEP Strong, ladies
    Your baby needs you

  39. Anel Jimenez

    I can totally relate. I’m 35 weeks pregnant. i’m single, my family lives far away, my friends kinda disapear after they found out I was pregnant and I live alone in a town where there is no walmart…. no movie theaters and stuff like that. I found netflix very entertaining at first but after watching almost all tv seasons available i got scared…. I mean that’s a ton of hours by myself…. :(

  40. I feel so lonely it takes everything I have to keep going :( I have a 5yo and a 4yo and have to stay strong. I just have nobody to talk to. My best friend is desperate to conceive and has been trying for years. All three of mine (inc the one I carry) were conceived straight away so I don’t really get the chance to feel like I can chatter away about everything that’s changing the way I’d like to. My husband works all day and is supportive but.. but I’d give anything to just blurt out that I really feel tired today, or that I’m a bit emotional, or even that I can feel little one wiggling about (I’m 18 weeks) without just getting “it’s alright for some” or “consider yourself lucky”. I feel terrible for being pregnant.

    • Steph, I relate. I have a busy 4 year old and my best friend is desperate to concieve and keeps miscarrying. I keep having to answer her texts and lift her out of her depression, when I myself am super depressed. I am 35 weeks, I have had a long at risk pregnancy, age 37 (38 on Thursday), and the holidays really have me down. My husband works all the time and we barely have any money to pay our mortgage. I blew up at him for getting a beer in the night the other day when I having contractions and we had a terrible fight that just about put me in early labor, but now we have talked and realize it is stress, but what with all I can’t do in the house, he comes home and has to spend time with our daughter and do a few key chores and then the day is over. No time for that back rub, those kind words, and his job is the kind where he can’t make eye contact for two minutes without texting a client. I feel alone, and neglected, and my 70 year old mom is helpful only to a point. She watches my daughter a bit begrudgingly and has to take care of my elderly father with dementia so my daughter usually returns from her care having learned several bad habits. I am exhausted, and feel like I have no capability to be a good mom, and why am I doing this again? It sucks when you have people to turn to that you cannot turn to. The midwives keep telling me to get a massage, which I can’t afford, and hubby who used to be a massage therapist has no time as a carpenter to work on me, and messed up his shoulder moving my mom (never lets me forget it) and takes time to do massage exchanges with another mom, adding to my terrible hormonal insecurity. I know he needs it to keep working, but I just do not know how I am going to make it another few weeks, let alone through and after the delivery!!!

  41. I am 26 weeks pregnant now. Just moved into a new place with my bf. We now live 9 hours from my home town in a VERY small town. I thought moving here would be a nice, quite escape from my old, busy life but… its been more depressing than anything. I have no friends here….no work right now (I am the bread winner in the relationship)…I am so broke from the move, I cant even buy groceries:(
    I feel like everyone I know is enjoying life to some degree and I am completely alone and have no outlet for fun or anything remotely resembling fun. I am a first time mom and super nervous and scared of the future thats ahead of me.

  42. chazza2014

    Hi there

    im only 9 weeks preganant( only found out last week) but i already feel lonely- i mean my boyfriend is there for me (although hes away for the week for work) and his family have been supportive. My mum not the most supportive she is being very realistic about this- you know all the bad side of pregnancy- which has unsettled me more, we havent really spoken since i told her the other day. She text me saying well i wont alwyas be ther for you etc, so in that sense i feel lonely coz all i want is my mums approval…. Im 22 have a good career (which im scared of ruining) and live by myself- my boyfriend will have to move in at some stage. She just has made so many things run through my head- am i ruining my life? am i putting my self in for a life sentence??

    Hope you are all okay once you have your babies and dont feel lonely any more- i suppose us girls are just crazy and hormonal xxx

  43. Hello,

    I’m 24 weeks pregnant. I live in Virginia but my child’s father lives back in Florida. I came back to VA to live with my family when I found out I was pregnant. He claims he loves me but all we do is talk over the phone. He says when I have the baby me might visit once a month and so on. For me that’s not enough. I feel so lonely and feel like its not fair to my baby for me to feel down. I told him that if he really loved me and wanted a family he and I could make a way where we are together under one household. But he told me he’s busy taking care of his mother. And he has “stuff” going on in Florida. I even told him I’d move there with him. He said its to expensive. I feel like there’s no excuse. I’m in love with him but it hurts me that I would do anything for him but he wouldn’t do the same for me. Am I selfish? Do I have a right to want to have a family? I’ve been feeling like I’m cursed but I love my baby. I just didn’t want my first child to grow up under a split household. What should I do? This is the first timing getting pregnant and I have no job. It worries me.

  44. Im 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and im 27 years old. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year n half and it was great until I found out that I was pregnant. Everything changed! He has a son already that his mother takes care of but he is involved. We live together but he has completely changed on me he has never went to a ob appointment with me even though I have opened up on how I feel lonely and want him to come. When I cry during relationship conversations with him he gets mad at me and yells . I have had so many health problems with the pregnancy that I had to stop working at 5 months. Now I feel that I have to be quiet and accept what he does just to keep my apartment. My mom is supportive but Ive been on my own for so long I don’t want to burden her like my brothers I need her to be happy and stress free for her health . I feel so helpless that I dont go anywhere or call anyone my only commutation with ppl is going to the dr. my boyfriend asking me what I want to eat and the Internet. I have never been depressed and this scares me because I dont know what to do or how its affecting my unborn child. I cant sleep or eat half the time im always crying or just still to whatever thats going on like im invisible. I have opened up to my dr about this and she says there are meds I can take but I don’t want to be dependent on meds after birth nor do I want it to harm my son. I dont know what to do im alone Upset and just want a piece of happiness while carrying my son. I do feel that once my son is born ill be a lot stronger but I feel so weak now I dont know how to help myself. No one understands. I feel broken. I would like to get some advice on should I ask for antidepressants while pregnant. I have never considered hurting myself or my unborn child but I dont feel a small piece of happiness or joy. I feel really really hurt and broken please contact me by email if you have advice at odomashley87@yahoo.com thank you for reading my story

    • Hi Ashley!
      My name is wendy. I can relate so some of your points. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and even though my story is different the behavior of my partner is very similar. I’ve cried to him, tried talking to him, yelled and gotten angry but is still didn’t change anything. You are not alone and just talking to someone and venting is healthy. I keep most of this to myself as I apparently am a private person lol. Wendyorellana819@gmail.com is my email if you’d like to connect. Hope you and your baby are great.

  45. Hi Ashley,
    Sometimes life seems too imperfect, so many things going wrong with insensitive boyfriends, health issues, relationship problems, financial constraints.. The list is endless.. But let me tell you one thing – as brutal as it sounds – there’s no choice but to move on.. And there is always someone whose suffering is way more than yours. So stay hopeful and try and be happy and forgiving. Chances are people are seeing a very different side of you and are completely confused as to how to react to the new you.. Right now your baby is most important to you, and as a mother you HAVE to give it all the love and care it deserves. So chuck out that unhappiness, fantasise about your soon to be born little one, give yourself a final push and carry on. After all it’s only a matter of weeks:)
    So do well and be a good mama to your beautiful baby
    Much love,
    Tj

  46. Hello, Im 34 years old with a 5 year old and im 12 weeks pregnant and i want this all to be over. i wish i could explain my life im so tired of justifying my life to people i just care to do so. all i know im a failure in my life and don’t deserve to have the gift of children. i feel so emotionally drained to the point my heads about to explode. im lost truly dont know what im doing in my life. thats pathetic i know. but its a true. im feeling that low. and i wish i had someone to hold my hand and say its going to be ok. T_T

  47. My boyfriend was arrested due to an unresolved charge years ago, I was 21 weeks. I am now 34 weeks and am getting so anxious he won’t be home before baby comes. I am very lonely, I spend most everyday alone or at work trying to hold our lives together..it’s definitely taking its toll on me physically and emotionally.

  48. This is my first pregnancy and i have nights where i feel so alone. My best friend of the last 21 years told me i should get an abortion because my boyfriend and i were arguing. I now have lost her as a friend because i felt very offended by that… also i have yet to tell my parents about this and i just know ive been a disappointment to them thus far so it shouldnt really surprise them. Im 21 and have been living and supporting myself since i was 17 so i dont absolutely have to have their approval but I’d like to not be the black sheep, ha. Lastly im scared of being a mother. Obviously i havent been one so i dont know all the details to what it demands. Im just nervous that im not ready… please say someone else went through this stress while pregnant. I really hope its jusy the hormones. I hate this feeling.

    • It’s a bit sad that reading through these have actually made me
      Feel better. Just seems it’s normal for men to have zero understanding of pregnacy, and zero sympathy to there partners, I mean obviously they may be scared or unsure in this time as well but to treat the women who they are supposed to love who is carrying there baby with anything but unconditional support during this time seems crazy. I have been in a bad relashionship with my
      First child so it makes me feel worse that now I’m “happily married” I would feel so low at what should be such a happy
      Time, and all I need is to
      Know he is there to support me, all this “just hormones” crap I can’t stand. It was just hormones when I cried uncontrollably in the funny bits of What to expect when your expecting, but if you are feeling sad and alone and that makes you cry it
      Is because you are feeling sad! They look at our tears like they are something from another planet not the obvious human reaction to feeling sad, my ten year old cries when I am sad or just cuddles me, and he would still even if I had been in a bad mood or yelling at him when he misbehaves- because we love each other unconditionally …..why can’t a 30 year Old man figure that out? I don’t think there will ever be woman equality, we alone get This beautifull blessing and in turn suffer alone as well. I do hope everyone on this post feel better after a vent and seek help if they need it. Particulary to those who are pregnant with there first know that it is all so worth it, raising a child will be the most amazing and hard thing you have ever done but look forward to holding you baby for the first time, watching them grow and be amazed by first smiles and every small achievement will be amazing.
      I had my first son (now ten) at 16 and felt very alone stuck in a bad relashionship, if I have any regrets it not standing up screaming rather than lying down and crying when he treated me so bad, I wish I went back to my family and friends who would have supported me while I was pregnant, although it was basically inevitable and happened later, because I felt so vulnerable I didn’t want to go through a break up at that time although he was virtually pushing me away. No point in dragging it out. Anyway I am no “expert” as I sit here 39 weeks pregnant alone because my loving husband walked out as he does when there is any confrontation and I need him the most, but if anyone needs someone to talk to feel free to reply to my post

  49. I’m 19 weeks pregnant. I already have 3 boys who are 15, 12 and 8. My husband loves me and is very supportive, but I feel so alone and physically ill from this loneliness. I’m not sure what I’m looking for or want. I just feel like I’m done with this life I’m living in and I want it to end. I don’t know how much longer I can take this pain. Im so lost, so empty and feel so vulnerable. I pleaded for help screaming in my room when I’m alone, but to whom am I asking this to? Perhaps God… I keep pushing my faith away. I know I need Him and only He can make me ok, but I don’t understand why I push Him away.

    I can tell my husband is getting fed up with my sadness and my unpredictable mood. I can see it in his eyes and the way he stays away from me when I get this way. I should understand because who would want to be around someone like me right now, but I feel resentment and hated when I see him leisurely take a nap or sleep so peacefully at night. I know I’m being very selfish, but I don’t know how to stop this feeling. I really need help.

  50. I feel terrible,I met my boyfriend last year November,I’m four months pregnant.My boyfreind shouts at me,calls me useless,I feel useless,I love him but I want to walk away while I still can,last night he said terrible things to me in public,I ddnt know what to say,I cried uncontrollably,I feel like I’m loosing my mind,every week he does something to hurt me,I’m carrying twins but to him it’s a none event,he doesn’t care about anything that I concerns me he says he just wants his kids that’s all.I have accepted but I want to leave him,my heart is in pieces.millionpieces

  51. Im 14 weeks pregnant wit a very supportive husband n family. But i still feel lonely specially when im in office. I have joined my new company 45 days back n came to know bout pregnancy. cant tell anyone here in office but have not been able to make frds as well which has never happened wit me. I am a very talkative person but wit new job n not havin anyone ard i feel lonely n blank. cant even concentrate at work. i just count hrs on when will office time get over. I have always been a star performer in my previous organisation but here i dont even feel like working. i end up cryin at my desk. i want to b happy n give my baby a beautiful life. someone pls help me out of this.

    • Hi Sneha, I can totally relate to you. I just joined my new company and don’t talk much to my colleagues as well. I have been going through a rather difficult pregnancy. My puking has not stopped despite my 14th week pregnant. I go to work counting the hours and I just feel on lying the bed till I give birth. I feel so lonely as none of my friends have experienced such bad morning sickness. I love my baby and wish I can be happier so that my baby can be happy too.

    • Hi Sneha, I can totally relate to you. I just joined my company and I don’t talk to anyone much. I have been puking very badly despite at 14th week. None of my friends experience such bad morning sickness. I go work and counting for the hours to pass. I wish I could just lie on my bed till I give birth. I would like to be happier so that I can have a happy baby.

  52. I’m 26 weeks and 35 got 2 kids 10&15 my husband of 18 yrs has totally changed towards me we’ve always had a happy and close relationship my family has been through a lot and I am now on medication for anxiety he doesn’t understand and told me to go take one of your pills (I got them yesterday) I have decided to end the relationship as he gives no support, affection or financial help and I know we will be better off without him, men like this drain out energy and we can all be good mothers on our own, go see your doctor or keep talking on here if you feel suicidal, please don’t suffer alone, I would be happy to provide a shoulder to anyone who needs it

  53. im four months pregnant and I feel so sad and lonely. I am divorced and have three kids and now Im pregnant. I found out my ex-boyfriend was married after i found out i was pregnant. he wanted for me to be his other woman and i would never do that, i wont do that to no one they did that to me and i wont do that to no one. I can live with being a single mother of four, but now im so sad and depressed. i try to hide it from my kids and my supportive parents, but some days i cant take it and i think bad ideas. But i think of my kids and i don’t want to disappoint them and i don’t want to make them suffer i want the best for them. some nights i cant stop crying i don’t know how long i can keep it all in and im so nervous and scared of what is to come. i don’t have much time for my best friend because i spend it working trying to support my kids and pay the bills bymyself.

  54. Listen to drunken soilder. Promise youll love it. Ladies id you never lived as youve wanted,healthy happy do so now. F””” the daddz baby girlz you have no control over them. Pray for them to do right by the baby or be removed. Lets face it dont keep bad just to keep company. Noone can restore u but God anyway. Even if a man. Ould make you feel better he can still leave and then you feel worse. Take this time to be you strengthen you bond with your baby and the idea of being a mommy. Children dont miss what they never had unless you tea h them to. Your babies will pick up on your insecurity tho so dont dwell on missing dad. They have beautiful strong committed mothers! Your babies did not come here by their fathers…..they came by The father. Dont dispair our trials build us if we pray for strength and rely on the provider. Be all the mother you can . If you feel weak, fake it till you make it. Even if you lift weights to pretend…the strength comes from the motions. Baby steps right? Clean your room. Wash all the dishes. Paint your nails. Turn on music You like. Breathe in peace. Love your space. Sit holding your. Bellies and dream. And smile. Have this secret time and keep it for you. Even if you just shower do it as a loving gesture to yourself. You and your baby are permanent. You and daddy may not be. Please dont take dads decisions or reactions as judgement on your wonderful selves. Hes just not where you are. Be you. Be strong. Be confident. Do what you live and youll find who loves you . And go ahead and cry. Weap. This too shall pass, sarrow may endure for a night but joy commeth in the morning. Jesus himself wept. So weap…but be strengthened and breathe. I love you all. My situation? Try this on….my abuser ex cost me and my two girls our home, lifestyle, my family’s respect, my girls way of life, my very prominent job my relationship with my sixteen yr old and im pregers all in less than a year and wait…hes married! And you know what? I let him. Yup I gave it all up at the foot if his alter. But now that im homeless penniless car less and manless im rebuilding. So keep your heads up ive been there. Hell I am there. Lol but its all attitude and faith. I refuse to be down long. The best revenge us a good life. Im praying for you my sister moms.

  55. I feel lonely and suicidal as well, I am just in my first trimester. My ex is my baby’s father and is very cruel he even suggested that I threw myself down a flight of stairs. I am miserable but I keep a strong face for my son. My life is very busy but even when surrounded by a group of people I feel lonely, ugly, and unworthy of love. I belong to a church, and see a therapist but nothing seems to be working. I’m afraid I might do something soon to end the chaos which is my life. I’m really scared but to afraid to talk to my family because they have done so much for me and I was supposed to be making better decisions than getting pregnant.

  56. I am 12 weeks pregnant and feeling very emotional, neglected and lonely. My bf is around, we live together but he is not exactly supportive when it comes to my emotional breakdowns. He gets annoyed when I cry and tells me I do that to myself (like I do it on purpose). Any time we argue or talk about our relationship I cry uncontrollably and instead of giving me some affection and love, he pushes me away and avoids me. He doesn’t understand that the reason I am like this is the pregnancy. The other day he told me that he is sure other women don’t cry so much in pregnancy, that his mom definitely didn’t so he doesn’t understand why I am like this and asked me if I don’t have anything better to do than cry. His attitude and words really hurt me but he cannot seem to understand, I live far away from home and don’t even know how to tell my family that I am pregnant, I don’t really have friends here because I only moved here 6 months ago. So basically I only have him, and he works evenings and nights and I feel like he would rather stay there than come home to me, lately he started coming home later and later. I worry all the time about how all this is going to turn out, I don’t want to have this baby alone but if this keeps going on I guess it’s no different if I am with him or alone. He wants the baby but that is all he wants (not really caring about me in the whole story), but when he talks about it, all he talks about is money and the fact that the child must have his last name. He even told me that when i have the baby I can go back to my country and leave the baby with him so I never have to tell my parents that I had the baby. I know I am like this because of hormones, but the way he acts definitely doesn’t help. I am trying to be strong and not let it get to me because of the baby but it’s so hard.

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