‘So, do you come here often?’

Like most people, I assumed that when I got married my days of dating were behind me.  My dating past has been particularly colorful given my desire in my 20s to marry someone Jewish.  I had a profile on JDate and would sometimes have to prove I was a member of the tribe by reciting the Sh’Ma on a date.  I once got cornered by a bunch of very angry Sephardic young women at a Jewish speed dating event who wanted to know why I was there poaching their men.

I’ve been told by more than one guy I’ve dated “You’re my first Asian.”   Awww, you really know how to sweet talk a lady, dontcha?

So yes. Finally being married meant I didn’t have to live through those and many other awkward dating moments.

And then I became a mom.

And I want mom friends.

And how do I become friends with other moms?  Why use my children of course!  So I now have to embark on playdates.  But in order to have a playdate, I first have to snag a mom.  And this is where my pre-kid life is eerily similar to my post-kid life… I arrive on the scene.  My partner in crime immediately scampers off and starts talking to anyone who will make eye contact.  God I envy her ability to talk to anyone.  I see an open seat and grab it.  After pretending to be busy and important looking at my phone, I decide to take a lap to see who’s there.

About half-way through my lap I make eye contact with a certain someone across the way.  I size up the clothing and hair and decide we are on a level playing field.  I work my way closer and finally get up the courage to say something.  I find myself asking clichéd questions like Do you come here often?  However, after a few minutes we easily slip into animated conversations about clothing, music, and television.  Things are going great until my partner in crime loudly declares she’s not having fun anymore and wants to go.  I roll my eyes at my new friend and say goodbye.

As I walk toward the exit, I think…What am I doing?  We seemed to have a great connection and a lot in common.  Don’t be a coward.  Just do it.  While my partner in crime waits petulantly at the exit, I run back to my new friend and quickly, awkwardly say, “I don’t normally do this, but you seem really cool and it’d be great to hang out.  Here’s my number.  Text or call or whatever.”

I rush back to my partner in crime, who is now having a full blown hissy fit, and head to the car. I risk a look back and get a warm smile and wave.  And I wonder, does the three day rule apply to mommies as well? xoxo Karen Rothstein

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Karen Rothstein is a featured Bloggers at the THE LIL’ MAMAS. We swear, we kvetch, we cry, we laugh, and we write about it. We keep it real. Really real. We don’t sugar coat this Mama thing and we are NOT your Mama’s Mama blog! Welcome to the insanity.

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