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I keep talking to the same moms – mostly moms of girls my daughter pals around with at school. We don’t really talk about anything, though.
It’s all sales at Target and can you believe the homework the kids getting and “I can’t believe I didn’t know it was picture day!” For weeks now my daughter has appended every goodbye with an enthusiastic playdate invitation and we all smile. I keep waiting for someone to offer me their contact info. No one does.
I gave one mom my card but I think (and I’m not kidding here) that she only plans playdates for her son with other boys.
Do they already have too many friends? Do I not look like their kind of people? Do I look desperate?
I know, I know… I should be offering up my business card more often in a gesture of goodwill but I’m honestly too afraid. Not that I think anyone is going to laugh in my face (probably) but just that my card will be slipped into pockets and then no one will ever call.
It really stinks when they don’t call, right? And so far I’m 0 for 1.
Today was the first time I felt like the unpopular kid at dropoff. Possibly because I’m usually one of the first moms on the scene so I’m starting conversations instead of interrupting them.
The goal I had when school started was to talk to someone new at school drop off every day. Can I just say I am already failing miserably?
It shouldn’t be this hard, right? We all wait around at the doors together for the school to usher the kids inside and the kids are playing together – you’d think it would be easy for us grownups to chat. And I mean really chat, not just exchange observations about the current and coming weather.
“And what are you going to do during your six hours of freedom?” is a conversation starter that is sometimes put out there by this or that mom.
That’s when I cringe. You see, I don’t have six hours of freedom; I’m a working mom facing another six hours of work.
And I really don’t want to know about the latest sale at Target, either, because 1. we’re on a budget and 2. I am just not that into the whole stereotype of the mom wandering around Target sipping a pumpkin spice latte while her kids are at school because that’s what passes for quality me time these days.
I like Doctor Who and playing ice hockey and reading about World War I. I like browsing Reddit and Cross Fit and going to the science museum. I was a goth teen who morphed into a raver who morphed into a grownup who reads Vogue but still wears all black and longs for the day giant parachute pants come back into style. I have tattoos, which isn’t that weird these days but mine are weird ones. And on top of it all, I’m a city girl trapped in the suburbs.
In case you couldn’t guess, I don’t exactly fit in.
In my continuing quest to get to know the moms at my daughter’s school, I went to my first ever PTA meeting – also known as the PTA meeting that wouldn’t end. Since it was the year’s inaugural meeting I was imagining a half hour meet and greet where us newbies would fill out a form or two and get a feel for how we might like to contribute. Nope. This was two hours of deep PTA immersion – possibly designed to make sure that anyone new to the school understood just how little they know about the school.
I spent most of those two hours cowering in the back row. The only time I talked was before the meeting even started and that was only because I couldn’t find the library and had to ask a trio of smirking PTA veterans how to get to the meeting. No one acknowledged the newbies other than to make a note of the “new faces in the room” and to point out that most people who attend the first meeting never show up again. Huh. Wonder why!
But hey, I did fill out a form so I got that going for me.
I don’t know how to meet moms like me. Up until I found the Hello Mamas mom friend app, even just talking to other has been kind of a nightmare.
Even now, I spend a lot of time tittering. You know, tittering? Making that kind of high pitched uncomfortable laugh that you force when you feel like you’re the only one in a group who doesn’t find something funny. It’s a half laugh.
Because I don’t find a lot of the stuff other moms at drop off laugh about all that funny. Co-ed birthday parties – did I miss the memo where those are suddenly weird? A girl who keeps wearing shorts well into the fall – I just assume her mom didn’t think it was worth the fight. How another mom looks… WHAT THE WHAT?
Honestly, I feel very alone these days with a kid in school. I thought this would be easier!