I come from a family where having lots of babies is the norm. I’m the oldest of seven. Five is not an abnormal number of kids to have. The mister and I are bucking a trend. Whereas it’s not unusual for my relatives to have four or more kids in a brood, we’re possibly the sole members of ‘two and we’re through’ club on that side of the family.
Here are five reasons – some serious, some not – why the mister got, uh, fixed:
1. We have a mixed set, and word on the street is that the one girl/one boy family combo is quite popular. It may not be what I wanted once upon a time, but I think it may make life easier in the long run. Less teen year cat fighting and/or knock-down, drag out wrestling, for instance.
2. Our house has two bedrooms in addition to our own. Would those rooms be big enough for sibling sharing? Sure. But that would mean twin beds for everyone and, ugh, I hated my twin bed growing up. Stopping at two means no running lines of masking tape down the middle of, well, everything. Everyone can have their own stuff.
3. I never, ever, EVER want to be pregnant again. Hence the mister’s vasectomy. My pregnancy with P. was nice and easy, except for the whole prematurity thing at the end. Then I had a triplet miscarriage. Then they thought Bo could have Down syndrome and we opted for the wait and see approach. Never again.
4. With one girl and one boy, there won’t be any fighting over clothes. Probably. Or boys. Probably. But even if Bo turns out to be rather fancy or P. wants to schlumpydump it up, it’s unlikely they’ll be the same pants size by the time it would be an issue.
5. We have limited resources. While we’re not destitute, we’re not rolling in the dough, either. Until something changes, I have to work. Right now, I can do that with Bo at home. With multiple kids underfoot, I couldn’t work at home. With multiple kids in childcare because I was working outside the home, we’d be bleeding money. On top of that, I want to have the funds for enrichment. Dance classes. Piano lessons. Museum tickets. Art supplies.
Can kids thrive without dance classes in shared bedrooms and toys and lots of sibling infighting over everything from boys to who got the biggest piece of pie? Of course! Having a big family is fun, and I recognize that by stopping at two children I am making a sacrifice. I am missing out on a lot of experiences I imagined I would have as a mom. Experiences I wanted. A lot of the craziness that comes with having what some people might see as too many kids. I know I will never stop wondering what it would have been like if the multiples had been born instead of lost, and then we had Bo on top of it all.
But I also think I’m making the right choice for my kids and my family.
Are you in the one and done club? Two and through? Three and… no more for me? Four, five, or six? How did you know you were finished having kids?