I was into older mums years before I had my son. I used to be a nanny 7 years ago and would take the boy I cared for to Playgroup each Thursday. To start with the playgroup was incredibly small. We are talking 2-3 of us plus children, but soon it grew to be quite large. I always went out of my way to greet the new parents coming in for the first time. One of them is now one of the best friends, Paula.
She will be 47 next week. I’m 33. That age gap has rarely bothered either of us. We were forced into conversing because the boy in my care and her son loved playing together. You’d never think to match us up as friends just by looking at us but it works.
I probably didn’t understand then that I was drawn to her because she was wiser and older, but I know now that that was the long-term hook; not just Paula’s fantastic sense of humour.
|Lovely Paula and Nathan|
Now I’m back at playgroup with my own son and I look at the 3 women I am closest to there and it’s hit me that I have a thing for older mums. I want to be their friend. I’m drawn to them. I want their advice but more than that I love their company. Why is that? I’ve been trying to figure it out since I realised it a couple months ago. This is what I’ve come up with so far.
The 10 Reasons I’m Totally Into Older Mums
1. Trees of Wisdom: Paula has been my closest confidant the last few years and she tells me now how much I’ve changed (for the better) since I was 26. It’s nice to hear, but at the same time it makes me wonder how silly I must have been then. I would always take my work drama to her and just vent my little ass off. She would always blow me away with how objective and insightful she was. None of my friends my age even came close to doing that for me.
Older mums are great at helping us not to sweat the small stuff, to step back and get some perspective before making any quick judgements or decisions.
2. Keeping It Real: Paula saw the underlying issues, and was never afraid to be deliver it truthfully even if it might not be what I wanted to hear. She could be brutally honest with me and wouldn’t blink twice when gently explaining to me that I was part of the problem. She didn’t outright say it because she sometimes has more tact than that but she’d communicate it to me in such a way that eventually I’d see she was right.
3. Get To The Point:I have found that a lot of older mums are really great at being assertive. If they can’t do you a favour they just say so. They are no longer are “yes” women who will bleed themselves dry trying to please everyone else. They’ve learned what they have time for and are better at appropriating their time. I know where I stand with these mums a whole lot better than I do with my younger mum friends; when they are upset with me they tell me. They don’t waste time going behind my back and uselessly talking about it so that nothing ever gets sorted out. That’s definitely something you can only get from women with maturity.
5. They Are More Financially Secure: I love them for their money. Nah! Just kidding. But usually they have figured out what they want to be when they grow up and there’s a sense of security in that. They’re usually at a stage in life where they own their own home, and money is no longer a hinderance to them enjoying life a little bit more. Not always the case, and it doesn’t matter to me either way. However, in summary, they can buy their younger friends nice cheese, and wine to cry into if needed!
6. They’ve Changed the Nappies, Dealt With the Croup, and Felt All the Feelings:
If they have older kids they can help you get through or prepare yourself for your child’s phases.
They don’t care as much about the materialistic stuff for kids either. They are all about the hand-me-downs from one kid to the next, or from someone else’s kid to theirs. They don’t care if your kid is wearing the latest merino hand cut suede boots, or if they have Country Road labels on the inside of their shirts. They own the stuff that can get dirty and wash out easily. They don’t give a shit if your child sleeps in a Boori sleigh cot or the neighbour’s old one as long as they sleep. If your kid has a bad cough they can tell you whether or not you should be worried about it. My friend Cherie validates me because she has a busy 10 year old and watches what I go through with my busy 2 year old. She helps me feel sane because she’s done it all before; the stares of judgement from other people, the chasing, the constant correcting, and the exhaustion.
7. Who Gives A Stuff What Anyone Else Thinks: They constantly remind me not to worry what anyone else thinks. Not only have they given up trying to please everyone they are all just too tired to care any more. The only energy they have left is keeping their kids alive until their partner’s come home from work.
|Just ride the flamingo if you want to|
8. Great Last Minute Babysitters: I’ve had a few moments lately where I’ve needed to call on my older mama friends to watch my son for a couple hours. By now they’ve had one or more children so they aren’t stressed about throwing a toddler into the mix for a couple hours while I get an errand done.
9. Way More Fun on a Night Out: They know how precious their time with out their kids is so when it comes time to get out on the dance floor they usually just go for it. Recently I was out with some mums dancing and they were just going for it on the dance floor. I saw many mom-moves come out, maybe even some tribal jungle sh!# you’ve never seen before. A young 20-something just stood there eyeing my friend up and down with so much hate and energy. My friend didn’t even notice. WHY? Because she was too busy enjoying every second of child-free quality time with her girlfriends! Less inhibitions and not caring = way more fun.
10. All the fun of a Gen Y with all the manners of a Gen X:
Paula is constantly reminding me that I’m Gen Y. If you want to get technical I think I’m actually on just a couple years off Gen X, but she won’t hear any of it. I love that I don’t have to beg my older friend’s attention away from their phones to get a moment to talk. I’ve found that, generally speaking, my older friends are more polite and value my time more than my younger friends. They are less likely to cancel at the last minute or for a better offer (- let’s be honest, I am now their best offer).
Now that you know how much better older mums are you’re probably wondering where you can score some, right? How can you mum-date an older mum? Where can you go to find some wise piece of tail? I’ll tell you where. Hello Mamas is where. You put in all your details and BAM you can find other mums in your area! Because at the end of the day it’s about finding you local network, be it young, same same, or a little wiser 😉
Peachy Keen Mumma, also known as Jess, is a 32 year old Mother of one, sibling of eight, and big sister of five. A Canadian, Ecuadorian, Australian and American, she loves sharing recipes, reviews, and some fun life things along the way. Did we mention she’s pretty funny too? 😉
Note: Jess is also a Hello Mamas influencer! Interested in learning more about what that means? Contact us!